christian heymann

one year later (2023)

When my girlfriend, almost exactly a year ago, on the first day of our vacation, revealed to me in tears that she wanted an open relationship, something inside me broke very quietly yet painfully. Completely shocked and afraid of losing her, I agreed to her proposal. What followed was a roller coaster of emotions and one of the worst episodes of my life. Infused with too much ego, envy and jealousy, the initial phase caught me off guard. Whenever she met someone, all I could do was to drug myself and have other partners. And just as I was about to settle into the new situation, she admitted to me that she had fallen in love with someone else. She decided against him, but we broke up anyway. We both realized that it was important and right. We needed space and time to take out and process the steam and dynamics that got us where we were. When we found each other again, we realized that our open relationship was just a cry for help for lack of ease. This is a recap of last year. A chance to find oneself again, to find us.